STEP 3 “a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”
we provide a detailed step-by-step guide to help you navigate through Step 3 of the 12 step program. We break down step 3 to help you understand what “a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” Means.
Understanding Step 3: Turning Our Will and Lives Over
Step 3 of the 12 Steps reads: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” For many recovering addicts, this step can feel overwhelming, but it’s an essential turning point in the journey to recovery. Let’s break it down and understand what it means to truly “turn our will and our lives over.”
What Is Our Will?
Our will refers to our personal desires, plans, and control over how we think life should go. For addicts, our will is often tied to selfishness, impulsive decisions, and the belief that we can solve our problems on our own. This mindset often leads to chaos and continued suffering. Our will is that constant urge to control every outcome and rely solely on ourselves, even when it’s clear that doing so has brought pain and destruction. Recognizing the flaws in this self-centered approach is the first step toward change.
What Does It Mean to Turn Our Lives Over?
Turning our lives over means surrendering our need for control and placing our trust in a power greater than ourselves. It’s not about giving up or becoming passive—it’s about acknowledging that we cannot recover or live a fulfilling life by relying on our own flawed thinking and decisions. In Step 3, “the care of God as we understood Him” emphasizes that this Higher Power is personal to you. Whether you believe in God, a spiritual force, or simply the collective wisdom of the recovery community, this step encourages you to let go of your need to control and trust in something greater.
Step 3 in Action
Practicing Step 3 doesn’t mean you stop making decisions or taking responsibility—it means aligning your decisions and actions with humility, faith, and trust. It’s about pausing when faced with challenges, asking for guidance, and being willing to let go of the need to have everything go your way. By turning your will and life over, you invite clarity, peace, and the chance to live a life free from the destructive patterns of addiction. This step is a daily practice, a conscious decision to choose faith over fear and humility over control.
Embracing Step 3 can be scary, but it’s also liberating. It’s a reminder that you don’t have to do this alone. By surrendering your will, you create space for growth, healing, and the possibility of a better future—one not defined by addiction but by hope and connection.
Making the Decision
Making the decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of a higher power can be a challenging but transformative experience. It requires humility, faith, and a willingness to let go of old patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you. By embracing Step 3 with an open heart and mind, you can lay a strong foundation for lasting sobriety and spiritual growth. (see Limiting Beliefs)
Here’s a more in-depth look at each version of a higher power, along with examples of steps to turn your will and life over to that higher power.
1. Traditional God Concept:
Description: This interpretation involves belief in a personal deity, often characterized by love, omnipotence, and guidance. Many find comfort and strength in the idea of a divine presence watching over them.
Steps to Turn Your Will and Life Over:
Prayer: Begin by establishing a daily prayer practice to communicate your struggles and desires to God. For example, you might say, "God, I am powerless over my addiction, and I seek your strength and guidance."
Seeking Forgiveness: Involve yourself in rituals that promote forgiveness, such as confession or spiritual retreats, acknowledging past mistakes and asking for divine support.
Reading Sacred Texts: Engage with texts that inspire you, such as the Bible, to reflect on themes of surrender and trust.
2. Nature or the Universe:
Description: Many people find a connection to the larger forces at play in nature or the cosmos. This version highlights the awe of the natural world, its beauty, and interconnectedness.
Steps to Turn Your Will and Life Over:
Mindfulness in Nature: Spend time outdoors and practice mindfulness. Reflect on the vastness of the universe and your place within it, saying, "I surrender my worries to the universe's greater plan."
Gratitude Practice: Start a gratitude journal focused on nature—make notes on the beauty around you and express thanks for life's blessings. This practice cultivates a sense of connection and trust.
Meditative Walking: Participate in walking meditations in natural settings, focusing on your breathing and the inherent peace surrounding you, allowing it to guide your journey.
3. Collective Humanity:
Description: Viewing collective humanity as a higher power encourages individuals to draw strength from shared experiences and collective wisdom.
Steps to Turn Your Will and Life Over:
Community Involvement: Engage actively in community service. By helping others, you acknowledge the importance of collective support and shared experiences.
Group Discussions: Join discussion groups where members share their stories. Say something like, "I’m struggling today; I need the strength and insight of our community to help me persevere."
Empathy Exercises: Practice empathy—put yourself in another person’s shoes and recognize your shared challenges. This can promote connections and reinforce the notion of belonging to a larger human experience.
4. Personalized Spirituality:
Description: This approach allows an individual to define their own understanding of a higher power based on personal beliefs, experiences, and values.
Steps to Turn Your Will and Life Over:
Creative Expression: Use art, music, or writing to express your beliefs and cultivate a deeper understanding of your spirituality. Write about moments where you felt guided or supported by your inner self.
Affirmations: Create personalized affirmations based on your beliefs, such as, "I trust in my inner wisdom to guide me on this journey toward recovery."
Reflective Practices: Take quiet time for introspection or use methods like visualization to see your personal higher power guiding you through challenges.
5. The Recovery Community:
Description: Many recovering individuals find their higher power in the community of others who are also in recovery, emphasizing support and shared understanding. (see A.A. meetings and N.A. meetings)
Steps to Turn Your Will and Life Over:
Attend Meetings Regularly: Commit to attending support meetings consistently. Say to yourself, "By being here, I open myself to the wisdom and support of my peers."
Sponsor Relationship: Seek out a sponsor or mentor from the program. Ask for guidance and openly discuss your struggles—allow their experience to help guide your decisions.
Service to Others: Volunteer to help newcomers or facilitate sessions. Helping others reinforces the importance of community and serves as a reminder of how you are supported and connected to the group. (see A.A. meetings and N.A. meetings)
Conclusion:
Each version of a higher power offers a unique pathway to turning your will and life over during recovery. The goal is to find what resonates best with you and supports your journey. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you explore these avenues for growth and connection.
How I Embraced Step 3: Turning My Will and Life Over to a Higher Power
When I reached Step 3 in my recovery journey—deciding to turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power—I was terrified. The concept of surrender was foreign to me. I had spent so much of my life clinging to control, even when that control was destructive. But I realized that my way hadn’t worked, and if I truly wanted to heal, I needed to let go. Here’s how I approached Step 3, day by day, emotion by emotion, and how I continue to live it out daily.
Understanding the Concept of Surrender
First, I had to accept that I didn’t have all the answers. This was humbling and, frankly, crushing to my ego. I wrestled with the idea of giving up control because I equated it with failure. But my sponsor helped me understand that surrendering my will wasn’t about giving up—it was about freeing myself from the chaos I had created by trying to control everything. I had to trust that there was something greater than me, even if I didn’t fully understand it yet.
Step-by-Step Guide to Embracing Step 3
- Define Your Higher Power: My first step was to define what a Higher Power meant to me. I grew up going to church, got baptized, attended Sunday school and went through confirmation, even after all that I struggled with the concept of how god could let me spiral like this and thought "if there was a god he wouldn't let this happen to me" not realizing It was my will causing the chaos in my life leading to all the trials and addiction. I lost my faith and had doubt in God at first in recovery, so I started simple--seeing my Higher Power as love, hope, and the collective wisdom of those who had walked this path before me. as years went on, I began to realize that it was all part of the Devine plan set up for me to gain the knowledge I needed to become the person I am, and Today I have regained my connection with God as I understand him.
- Say the Step 3 Prayer: My sponsor introduced me to the Step 3 prayer: "God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always." Saying this prayer felt awkward at first, but over time, it became a grounding ritual.
- Let Go of the Need to Control: I began identifying areas in my life where I was holding on too tightly—whether it was relationships, work, or even my recovery process. Each day, I made a conscious effort to release my grip, reminding myself that I wasn’t in charge anymore. This was uncomfortable and scary, but it also brought immense relief.
- Trust the Process: I struggled with doubt: "What if this doesn't work? What if I fail?" But I kept reminding myself that Step 3 is about faith, not guarantees. I didn’t need to have all the answers; I just needed to trust that my Higher Power had a plan, even if I couldn’t see it yet.
- Daily Surrender: Each morning, I take a moment of quiet reflection. I say a short prayer and affirmations, asking my Higher Power to guide me. I remind myself that I don’t have to face the day alone. At night, I review my day, identify moments where I tried to take control, and reaffirm my surrender. This daily practice keeps me grounded and focused.
The Emotional Journey
Working through Step 3 wasn’t a linear process. At first, I felt resistant and even angry. I had to confront feelings of fear, doubt, and vulnerability. But as I leaned into the process, I began to feel lighter. Surrender didn’t mean losing myself—it meant gaining freedom from the burden of control. I started to feel hope, peace, and a connection to something greater than myself. (See Emotional Regulation)
What Step 3 Looks Like for Me Today
Even now, I practice Step 3 daily. It’s not a one-and-done decision but an ongoing commitment. Some days, I struggle to let go. On those days, I remind myself that I’ve tried doing life my way, and it didn’t work. I pause, pray, and ask my Higher Power for guidance. I’ve learned that surrender isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a source of strength.
Step 3 taught me that I don’t have to do this alone. By turning my will and my life over to a Higher Power, I’ve found a sense of peace and purpose I never thought possible. If you’re facing this step, my advice is simple: take it one day at a time, give yourself grace, and trust the process. It’s worth it.
Embracing Support and Community
As you navigate through Step 3, remember that you are not alone. Seek support from your peers, sponsors, and other members of the recovery community. Surround yourself with individuals who understand and respect your journey, and who can provide guidance and encouragement along the way. By building a supportive community around you, you can strengthen your resolve and stay committed to your recovery goals. (See A.A. Meetings, N.A. Meetings)