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Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings
Breaking Down Step 7 of the 12-Step Program: Humbly Asking God to Remove Our Shortcomings
Step 7 of the 12-step program is a deeply spiritual and transformative process: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." This step is about reaching a state of humility, accepting the areas in which we fall short, and surrendering those defects of character to a higher power—whatever that higher power may mean to you. Here, we’ll explore what shortcomings are, provide examples, and discuss practical ways to sincerely and humbly ask God to help us overcome them.
What Are Shortcomings?
Shortcomings are the character defects that stem from fear, pride, selfishness, and other negative emotions or thought patterns. These behaviors or attitudes hold us back from living an authentic, fulfilling, and sober life. They are often the same flaws that fueled our addiction and damaged our relationships. We all have shortcomings; they’re part of being human. However, in recovery, it’s crucial to identify them honestly and take steps to change through humility and faith.
10 Common Shortcomings and Examples
Below are ten examples of shortcomings that many people experience. They may resonate with you or help you identify your own:
- Pride: Believing you are better than others or refusing to admit when you’re wrong.
- Selfishness: Always putting your own needs and desires above others, even to their detriment.
- Dishonesty: Hiding the truth or manipulating others to avoid accountability.
- Laziness: Avoiding responsibilities or procrastinating on important tasks.
- Resentment: Holding grudges and refusing to let go of past wrongs.
- Fear: Letting anxiety or worry prevent you from taking positive actions.
- Judgment: Criticizing or looking down on others instead of offering compassion.
- Impatience: Expecting instant results or becoming frustrated with others’ pace.
- Envy: Feeling jealous of others’ success or happiness.
- Guilt: Dwelling in self-blame and refusing to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Each of these shortcomings can manifest in subtle or obvious ways, but they all contribute to the patterns of behavior that perpetuate addiction and hinder growth. Recognizing them is the first step toward asking for help to overcome them.
How to Humbly Ask God to Remove Your Shortcomings
Humility is the cornerstone of Step 7. It requires us to acknowledge that we cannot overcome our defects alone. We need the help of a higher power to guide us. Humbly asking God to remove our shortcomings isn’t about demanding perfection or instant change; it’s a process of surrender, trust, and willingness to grow. Below are ten practical examples of how to humbly ask God to help you overcome your shortcomings:
10 Ways to Humbly Ask God for Help
- Prayer: Speak directly to your higher power with honesty and vulnerability. For example, “God, I struggle with pride. Please help me to see others as equals and to admit when I’m wrong.”
- Meditation: Sit quietly and open your heart to guidance, saying, “I am ready to release my selfishness. Please show me how to serve others.”
- Daily Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations like, “I trust God to help me overcome my fear and act with courage today.”
- Journaling: Write out your shortcomings and your desire to change, ending with, “I surrender these defects to God and trust in His wisdom.”
- Service: Taking humble action, such as volunteering, can be a way to ask for help. For instance, “God, help me to let go of resentment by showing kindness to others.”
- Seeking Forgiveness: Apologize to someone you’ve wronged and pray, “Please help me release this guilt and forgive myself as I ask for forgiveness from others.”
- Gratitude: Focus on what you’re thankful for, saying, “Thank you, God, for helping me to overcome envy by appreciating what I already have.”
- Accountability: Share your struggles with a sponsor or trusted individual, saying, “I need help releasing impatience. Please guide me to be more present in the moment.”
- Letting Go: Imagine handing your shortcomings over to God, visualizing them leaving your body and saying, “I release these defects and trust in God’s plan for me.”
- Commitment: Take a specific action to address a shortcoming, such as practicing honesty, and pray, “God, help me to remain truthful even when it’s difficult.”
Conclusion
Step 7 is a powerful opportunity for transformation. By humbly asking your higher power to remove your shortcomings, you open yourself to growth, healing, and change. It’s not about becoming perfect overnight but about surrendering to the process and trusting that with faith and effort, you can become the best version of yourself. The journey may be challenging, but with humility and perseverance, it will lead to a life of freedom and serenity.
Finding Strength in Humility: A Recovered Addict's Guide
As someone who has walked the path of addiction and recovery, I understand the enormous weight of admitting our flaws. But let me tell you this: humility becomes the cornerstone of transformation. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s the strength to face yourself, own your mistakes, and grow from them. Here are 10 detailed ways to embrace humility and acknowledge your shortcomings with purpose and clarity, as I’ve learned through my own journey.
1. Admit That You Don’t Have All the Answers
Humility begins when you stop pretending to have life figured out. I used to think I could handle everything on my own, convincing myself I didn’t need help. But the truth is, addiction thrives in isolation. Acknowledge that you don’t know it all, and allow others—whether it’s a sponsor, counselor, or peers in recovery—to guide you. Say it out loud: “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m willing to learn.”
2. Take Responsibility for Your Actions
It’s easy to blame others for where we’ve ended up, but true humility means owning your role in your struggles. I had to face the damage I caused to my relationships, my finances, and my health. Write down specific instances where your actions hurt yourself or others, and accept accountability. Apologizing isn’t weakness—it’s courage.
3. Accept That You Are Not Perfect
Perfection is an illusion. I used to beat myself up for every mistake, which only fed my addiction. Humility taught me to say, “I’m human, and I make mistakes.” Learn to embrace your imperfections as part of your growth. This doesn’t mean excusing your behavior but understanding that growth comes from recognizing and working through your flaws.
4. Be Open to Feedback
Hearing about your shortcomings from others is never easy, but it’s essential. I remember being defensive when someone pointed out my destructive habits. It wasn’t until I listened without judgment that I began to grow. When someone offers constructive criticism, respond with, “Thank you—I’ll reflect on that.” This simple act keeps your ego in check and opens the door to improvement.
5. Apologize Without Expecting Forgiveness
Making amends is a critical step, but it requires humility to do so without expecting anything in return. When I apologized to my family, I didn’t demand they forgive me on the spot. I simply said, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done, and I’m working to change.” Accepting that forgiveness is not guaranteed takes genuine humility.
6. Recognize That Asking for Help is Strength
For the longest time, I equated asking for help with admitting defeat. But in reality, seeking help shows you’re willing to change. Whether it’s reaching out to a support group, therapist, or friend, saying, “I can’t do this alone” is one of the most humble and powerful steps you can take.
7. Acknowledge the Impact of Your Actions
Humility means facing the full extent of the consequences of your addiction. I had to sit with the reality of how my actions hurt people I love. Write a list of the ways you’ve impacted others, good and bad. This exercise isn’t about self-punishment—it’s about accepting the truth so you can begin to make things right.
8. Admit When You’re Wrong
There’s power in saying, “I was wrong.” I used to defend my actions, even when I knew I wasn’t right, just to protect my pride. Let go of the need to be right all the time. When you catch yourself in the wrong, admit it openly. It builds trust and shows others you’re committed to being honest.
9. Be Grateful for the Lessons
Humility also means being grateful for the struggles that have shaped you. Addiction taught me resilience and empathy. Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned from your hardships and practice gratitude. Say to yourself, “I’m thankful for the chance to grow, even from my mistakes.”
10. Stay Teachable
Recovery isn’t a one-time event; it’s a lifelong process. Humility keeps you teachable. Remind yourself that there’s always more to learn. Attend meetings, read recovery literature, or seek advice from those further along in their journey. Say, “I’m open to learning something new every day.” This mindset will keep you grounded and growing.
Humility isn’t about diminishing yourself—it’s about seeing yourself honestly, flaws and all, and working toward becoming a better version of yourself. Each of these steps helped me rebuild my life, one humble admission at a time. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Take it one day, one choice, and one moment of humility at a time.
How to Let Go of Ego: A Guide from a Recovered Addict
As a recovered addict, I deeply understand how ego can control our lives, hold us back, and stop us from truly healing. Ego is the part of us that craves validation, clings to pride, and often drives us to make choices based on fear, insecurity, or the need to feel superior. Letting go of ego isn't easy, but it's a vital step in recovery. When we let go of ego, we open ourselves to genuine growth, connection, and freedom. Below, I'll share what ego is and provide 10 practical, detailed examples to help you develop the willingness to let go of it.
Understanding Ego
In simple terms, ego is our sense of self-importance and identity. It's that voice in our head saying, "I’m better than others" or "I’m not good enough." Ego thrives on comparison, control, and protecting our self-image, even at the cost of truth or connection. In addiction, the ego can manifest in many ways: denying we have a problem, insisting we can handle it alone, or blaming others for our struggles. It’s a defense mechanism that keeps us trapped in our pain instead of moving forward. To let go of ego, we need to humble ourselves and embrace vulnerability. Here are 10 detailed examples to help you do just that:
10 Practical Steps to Let Go of Ego
- Admit You're Powerless: Acknowledge that your addiction is bigger than you and that you need help. Saying, "I can’t do this alone," is one of the hardest yet most liberating things you can do. It’s not a sign of weakness but of courage.
- Ask for Help: Ego often stops us from seeking help out of fear of looking weak. Whether it's attending a support group, reaching out to a sponsor, or opening up to a friend, asking for help shows humility and a willingness to grow.
- Take Responsibility: Ego loves to point fingers and blame others for our problems. Instead, own your mistakes and choices. For example, instead of saying, "My family doesn’t understand me," say, "I haven’t communicated my feelings clearly."
- Practice Active Listening: During conversations, focus on truly hearing the other person instead of planning your next response. This shifts attention away from your ego’s desire to "win" or be right and fosters understanding.
- Apologize When Necessary: Ego resists admitting fault because it feels like a threat to our pride. Practice saying, "I’m sorry" without excuses or justifications. For example, "I was wrong to snap at you, and I apologize."
- Acknowledge Your Fears: Ego often disguises fear as anger, denial, or arrogance. Write down what you’re afraid of—whether it’s failure, rejection, or vulnerability—and face those fears instead of letting them control you.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Ego thrives on comparison. Instead of thinking, "I’m not as successful as they are" or "At least I’m doing better than them," focus on your own journey and progress. Celebrate small victories, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
- Practice Gratitude: Gratitude shifts focus away from what you lack (which feeds ego) to what you already have. Every day, write down three things you’re thankful for, even if it’s something small like a good cup of coffee or a kind word from a stranger.
- Let Go of the Need to Be Right: In an argument, ask yourself, "Do I want to be right, or do I want peace?" Choosing peace over being right is a way of dismantling ego and prioritizing connection over control.
- Serve Others: Volunteer your time or help someone in need without expecting anything in return. Acts of selflessness remind us that we’re not the center of the universe and teach us the joy of giving.
Conclusion
Letting go of ego is an ongoing process, not a one-time decision. It requires daily practice and self-awareness, but the rewards are worth it. You’ll find that as you release ego, you gain clarity, peace, and a stronger connection to yourself and others. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Take it one step at a time, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ll discover that letting go of ego isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about finding the real you beneath the pride, fear, and defenses.